You Fix You

8. Your job is to fix you. If others learn from your example, great. If not? Move along.

 

I learned a thing from one of my mentors this summer. (If she knew that this was about her, she’d be VERY upset with me. HI PAM!) Here’s the thing:  A priestess or priest runs rituals, ceremonies and creates spiritual experiences for themselves. If anyone else, wants to come along, do the work and do the homework, that’s great. If not? Oh well.

Ya’ll……

YA’LL!!!!!

That very thought added a foundation to my ideas of what a priestess is, stuck a pin where I have my convictions and made the globe of “who am I?” stop spinning.

I stopped waiting for my community to formally recognize me as a priestess. I stopped fantasizing over a regal neck torc and elaborate ceremony to get it.  I realize now that I fully believed that the ceremony and the ‘thing’ of getting a torc were the end all and be all of a priestess.  Honestly, they just part of the window dressing. Those things are not what makes me a priestess.

NO Lia Fáil NEEDED.

Forget the super expensive brass or gold neck torc. I went out, got a functioning wrist one – made with copper and bullets – and got back to work.

Once my head stopped spinning, I took a look at my ritual archive. No, not of the ones I’ve done publically – the “other” one.  I have a scary impressive bank of ideas, rituals, thought processes and ceremonies that I’ve never felt I had the support to pull off.

I’ve got a full year long devotion made for my patron god.  (Don’t worry, I’m recovering the website.)

 

I’ve got a proposal for creating a new way to learn to be a bard by using what we have available.

I can travel with my own painted labyrinth when introspection is needed:

I can make a mean magic potion

I know what I am. I know who I am. I know what I want to do in my spiritual life. And, if ya’ll want to come along for the ride? Do the homework and get a helmet. Cuz I got this idea for a road opening ritual that will be pretty epic… along with a few more crazy ideas.

Who am I? You can call me Rev Terrie Mountain Fire

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No Shortcuts

No Shortcuts

We skipped spring and went right into summer. As I look down at my pot belly and realise that I’m not going to fit in last year’s clothes, I’m reminded of the next lesson like a smack upside the head. Dieting and exercising now is too late.
5. There are no shortcuts to success or enlightenment. I’m not even sorry.
What does that mean? If I had a dollar for every time someone wanted a quick fix spell, stone, potion, oil or whatever to fix their life or their problems, we’d be having a much different conversation.
TL; DR: IT DOESN’T WORK THAT WAY!
OK here we go. Calling yourself a witch, wizard, magician or whatever title of the year and not actively practicing magic or energy work is pointless. That’s right, I’m calling ya’ll out. If you don’t do the work? The title doesn’t fricken matter. Know why people don’t practice? Because it’s work.
That’s right. Practicing magic takes work. It takes less work to quit smoking cold turkey than to use magic to empower stones, herbs and spells to quit smoking. Don’t believe me? Go ask your elders. I’ll wait. Mean while, enjoy this lovely quote.
 
And we’re back. Didn’t like those answers eh? Didn’t think so. So why do magic at all? It’s a way to regulate our own personal energy. Lemme say it again. It’s a way to regulate our OWN PERSONAL ENERGY – not the moon’s energy, not the sun’s energy, not the ocean’s energy, not the trees’ energy – OUR OWN.
Me? I got a Fire Moon, I got a lot a passion and rage boiling inside. Doing the energy work helps me regulate what I have and keep control of my flames. Why? I keep control so that in the event that I need to work fast and hard I can turn on my fire and power up almost any spell or candle in a moment’s notice.
 
Now, for those of you who are wondering about the shortcut angle, here it is. I’ve been a witch 14 years. The first ten years sucked. A LOT. Why? I tried to find shortcuts to everything. I desperately tried every spell that I didn’t have to use my own energy for because I was a lazy uneducated shortcut seeking witch.
 
What happened? I got real broke, real fast. It’s EXPENSIVE to keep trying spells, buying stones, getting jewelry and the like in an effort to make the magic *go*. Yeah, about that. It didn’t work. But something *did* work. I wanted big changes in my life and whoo boy did I get them. I also got a smack upside the head about what devotion to the gods, my community and my magic really meant.
 
The first thing? I had to take care of myself. That’s not right. First I had to learn discipline. I had to learn to not just take care of myself, but to KEEP taking care of myself. Yes, that meant going to bed at reasonable time, eating my vegetables, laying off the cheap booze and taking my medication. Stay with me on this, there is a point. After that? Laundry, making my bed and keeping the clutter out of the house. Those things are key just like taking care of myself. Like I said, it’s not just doing it once. It’s keeping the ball rolling and staying on top of things even when you’re sick, tired, drunk or otherwise not really thinking about things. There’s a point I swear.
Now if you’re picking up what I’m putting down, go with me a bit further. If you do all these things, then you’re ready to get on with the magic. DO THE DOGGONE ENERGETIC EXERCISES EVERYDAY. You can do it! How do I know? You’ve set yourself up for success. Migraine? No biggie. You’ve manage to take out the garbage and do laundry with a migraine. Visualization is a snap. Hungover? Whatever. You’ve managed to make groceries, make the bed and go to work hung over. Cleansing your energy and resetting your shield is no big thing.
NOW WE GET TO THE POINT!
So you’ve got the discipline down. No matter what happens, you’ve got your energy work down and under control. Then something happens. You get the phone call that something is going down and you need to work some mojo. Guess what? You won’t fly off the handle and half ass a spell. Why? FRICKEN DISCIPLINE. You got this. You know how to control your energy power through anything.
So here we are, it’s after you’ve just thrown the bones and thrown down. Guess what you’re going to feel like afterward? SICK AND HUNGOVER. Guess what else? You got this. You know how to take care of yourself sick and hungover. You know how to reset your own energy and work with it to get back on track.
It’s all making sense, yeah? So that was the good news. Here’s the bad news: This doesn’t happen over night. It takes lots of time. If you’re really adept at energy work? It will take six months to a year to completely get control. If you’re lazy like me? It will take longer.
 
Now? I can power up almost any time for almost anything. I can access the energy around me (we’ll teach that later, kids), in the event that I’m tapped out. If there is a ritual or magic working that I have to give my all and then some? I got it down. And when it’s all over? I have the energy cleansing rituals on auto pilot when I shower and go to bed. I’ll be able to feed myself and take my meds. I’ll be able to get to work next day and only be a bit grumpy.

Moving on ~ Show me the Magick

Yes. I haven’t updated since May. Why? Life changes. People change. Spiritual practices change – whether we are paying attention or not.

I discovered a thing. My personal patron gods? They don’t give a crap about devotion, altars or offerings.   What do they want? For me to do some goddamn magic

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And that’s pretty much how it happened. Once I stopped trying to be a witch/magician/whatever – and just did the damn thing? Well, life got interesting and I stopped posting. It’s kinda hard to write a slice of life piece when you have three major spiritual experiences in one day.

By the way, if the Goddess Bridget even talks to you, even if it’s snark? You are truly blessed.

I have to hand it to Taylor Ellwood, his book Pop Culture Magick and his Facebook group with the same name. Why? Because I struggled for years with self doubt. I thought I wasn’t a real “witch” unless I understood how things were done “back in the day.”

Not anymore.

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Yeah, that’s what it was like that first few weeks. Now I don’t pat myself on the back. I don’t look to get my photo taken. I don’t make the “Look at my magic work!” posts (Unless it’s for business). I’m too busy showing the gods that I am not wasting my talents.

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What about you? What magic are you making? What are you showing the gods? Me? I got work to do.

Celebrating Imbolc & Goddess Brigid ~ Pray ~ Love ~ Train ~ Create

Celebrating Imbolc & Goddess Brigid

– this time? It’s personal

I’m sure you know of the Goddess known as Brigid.  She’s one of the most popular deities in the pagan spiritual movement.  Sometimes she’s seen as three sisters, other times as a triple deity. Some of Her domains are poetry, healing, and smithing (creation of tangible things).  While I have all of these things in my personal and spiritual life, that’s not why I honour Her.

Her followers are famous for flametending rituals or cills. They are famous for tending and caring for local public waterways.  They are famous for learning and speaking Gaelic. They are famous for weaving rushes for crosses to protect their homes. I don’t do any of those things. Goddess knows I’ve tried.

I honor Her for different reasons than most. The Goddess Brigid and I got personal. We got close.  We got “real” in a way I could finally understand.

She came to me in a dream, disguised as a waitress. She took away my food. She took away my seat at the table. She took away my husband’s food. She slacked at her own job in attending other patrons at restaurant.  A “snake oil” salesman came into the establishment and pestered the customers. She didn’t throw him out.

She made me so damn mad that I lost my temper.

For reference, I do my best not to lose my grip on my anger at any given point in time.  When angered, I’m not coherent – or nice. I scream. I yell. All the fires inside me roar – and burn everything in sight.  I am a dormant volcano. When I finally blow my top? I take an entire coastline of friendship and several hundred square miles of social niceties with me.

So there I am, no place at the table, starving and seeing that those around me are also not getting the nourishment they need. I knew that I was treated unjustly. I knew that the charlatan had fake magic potions. I knew that Table 9 needed more napkins and Table 19 needed more hot sauce.  So I lost my spiritual sh_t.

I let the fires inside me roar. I fed it the injustice given to me and the patrons of the restaurant. I fed it the anger that someone would willingly not care for those in their charge. I fed it a good dose of magical “b_tchslap” that I wanted to dole out to so many who take advantage of others in weaker states and positions.  Yes I got angry; then I got busy.

Instead of letting the rage boil me from the inside out, I stepped up and moved the “waitress” out of the way. As I yelled at Her (yes I know, just go with me on this), I did the job. I tossed out the snake oil salesman. I got Table 19 their hot sauce, fed my husband, got Table 9 more napkins and more. I took over and moved Her out of the way.

In my dream state, since She clearly wasn’t doing the job, someone had to step in to the role and take care of the people.  I did the job. I took care of the people and myself, all while yelling at Her from the top of my lungs.

Sigh. Yes this is where lucidity crept in to my dreaming mind.

The “waitress” just took it. She just stood there while I ripped Her apart. I stopped and realized that I couldn’t see her face. She was a glowing being of light that I could not focus on literally. That’s when I realized who She was – and panicked.

A little boy popped up at Her side. I’m sure that it was my patron god Lugh – goofy smile, mousy brown hair bleached blonde by the sun. He smiled and merely said “Sorry about that.”

This is where I woke up and had a spiritual meltdown.  This is also the reason why I honour Her. This is where Brigid and I got personal.

Brigid – the triple goddess, the lady of the hearth, the forge and the well deity of early spring, goddess of the sun, keeper of the flames – does not want me to be flametender. She doesn’t want me to tend the local waterways. She doesn’t want me to learn Gaelic or weave rushes. She doesn’t want me to solely write poetry or become and black, copper or silversmith.

She wants me to care for the people. She wants me to use my skills to make magic – to protect the people. She wants me to release the fires inside me, not just in anger, but in confidence that I can and I will do what needs be done.

In some ways I am Darlugdach, Her pupil. This was my dream of coal filled shoes.  Instead of intense desire for someone that would sway my faith, I had the intense desire not to be in the spotlight. I didn’t want to be the heavy in any situation where I had to make hard choices. I wanted all the magic, but was too afraid to do the work – in case I made a mistake.

This dream changed all of that.

I honour Brigid because it’s personal. She has shown me all of Her within myself.  To not take up Her mantle goes against everything I am.  Her flame burns within me. The lesson of the dream was to let it burn, bright and hot, to let the heat of the Fire work to help others.

Why do you honor Her?

Imbolc 2016

 

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Welcome to the Retrograde ~ Pray

Welcome to the Retrograde

retrogradeThe first Mercury Retrograde for 2016 happens on January 5 at  8:05 am EST  and goes direct on January 25 at  4:50 pm EST.

Well this is a fine way to start the year. However, You can make it work for you.  While we often think that this is the time where communication goes wrong (and sometimes it does), we can take this time to set a NEW habit for the rest of the year.

Whether he said it or not, these words ring very true: (thank you Tiny Buddha)

If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind  ~ 

Well is it?  This is way to curb those knee jerk responses and make all your avenues of communication work for you.  If you need a bit more? Here’s what I suggest:

 

  1. Get every “lucky” item you have and take them with you. Seriously. These will be what are called  “Touch pieces.”  I myself have several Mercury dimes all of them from leap years, which makes them hard to find and especially lucky.  Why the leap year? For myself, I find the day lucky and, for the calendar’s sake, a way to use up all the extra “time” bits we lose in the earth’s orbit around the sun. It’s an excellent way to store up do overs!1943D_Mercury_Dime_obverse
  2.  Another touch piece I have is a $2 bill from the US. Why? While they went out of circulation in 1966, they were reissued in 1976 – a leap year. 800px-US_$2_obverse-high
  3. Burn a reversal candle. My good friends at Kellys Kandles make GREAT ones! This is mine after SEVERAL retrogrades.  As my patron god, Lugh, is a cognate of Mercury, I always include offerings 🙂 Reversalcandle
  4.  Lastly, when you find that you’re in a really terrible place where nothing is going right? Stop. BREATHE. Go.stopbreathego

Good Luck!

RvT <3