7. it’s not your job to fix anyone. Give them all the tools and encouragement –and walk away. If they won’t make the effort or fight for themselves, what’s the point?
We currently live in a strange spiritual ecosystem. Many new folks are running away from established and structured spiritual paths or religions only to find haphazard and stranger paths as a ‘pagan.’ One must be wary on the path as the idea of ‘new age’ spirituality (if not the name) creeps in and douses every action in ‘love and light.’
Those of you who have been on this path know that ‘love and light’ are only half of the equation.
As we find our way in this ‘new age’ flavoured pagan world, we see many who are broken and hurt in all kinds of ways from their own experiences. Those with more femme energy often get sucked into a trap of ‘tend and befriend.’ These femme energy people are caught in a dangerous loop. They proclaim that they want to love and help everyone and foolishly try to do so. They are frustrated when the people they help just don’t seem to ‘get’ that they have the tools they need to heal and move forward.
However, some just can’t walk away from the losing situation.
Let me be clear, there is a significant amount of people who have mental or physical issue. They are usually completely incapable of healing their trauma or body. They are not my focus.
I’m speaking to those who know darn well that doing this wrong and will not help themselves. These are the people that always ask for free readings to get clarity on their latest life drama. These are the people who, despite everything they are told, will go from reader to reader (and sometimes drop a lot of money) to get the answer they want. These are the people who will always ask for energy to help them through the day or daily issues that they create themselves.
Cue the losing situation.
A few of my colleagues will enjoy me saying this: Most people are not cursed or hexed. They just refuse to learn from their mistakes and continue to make bad decisions. THE END.
So for all the “love and light” people, there is no light that will illuminate all the darkness in people. When you take the magic user, witch, or magician approach, everyone has all the tools and energy they need to overcome everything. Success becomes a choice.
I’ll say it again: SUCCESS IS A CHOICE.
If you choose to help someone, anyone, and they don’t choose to take your advice or example? Who is the bigger fool? The one who keeps trying even though they know it won’t work? I’ll just stop you right there since we know that’s the answer.
Now some of us are hard wired to have a good heart. That makes this world a difficult place. If you’re looking for hard and fast rules, try baseball: three strikes, then you are out of there. Try your best three times and then move along. “Pitching” to people who refuse to come up to “bat” is a waste of time and energy.
To level the playing field, I was one of those people who just didn’t “get” it for a long time. My “tend and befriend” folks quickly turned in to “fight and flight” folks. Inevitably, there would be an argument and a break up. Don’t worry. I got my head out of my ass one day. Things are better now. However, the lesson stuck.
I can’t fix everyone. I can only fix myself. I’ll give everyone a shot and all the tools they need. After that? The choice is theirs.