Category Archives: 2018 Theme

Asking for Help

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  1. It is not enough just knowing when to ask for help. You have to know WHO to ask.

As a pagan and witch, I live in a world of Venn diagrams.  While some may share parts of my ideals, their entire world view may not be the same. That’s not a complaint. That’s just a fact. Furthermore, even if someone else shares most of my views, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they can help me in a time a crisis, magical or mundane. Again, not a complaint, just a fact. A few more just for giggles, we have to factor in how far way that “help” is in terms of: do they have their own life; have they just finished working way too man shifts and are burned out; are they in their own crisis mode; are they literally hours away in the form of distance and time zones; will my problems be a burden to them; did my spirits tell me to ask someone else; and a whole other host of parameters.

 

What all of this boils down to is that when the big mojo is going down, I may not ask YOU in particular for help. That’s not a slam on you. It’s just how I have to roll. Now this can go bad a number of ways.

 

When I began this path, there was this unspoken rule of “self sufficiency.” You broke it? You fix it.  We all know that doesn’t work out. Why? In this world of “Insta-Witchery” and “Credit Card Conjure,” it’s real easy to follow instructions from any webpage or conjure kit and find that you’ve cursed yourself. It’s not so easy to figure out how to undo those things. Now, as time passed and I learned better, that self sufficiency bullshit can still bite me in the ass. Why? Let’s talk about the shame you can feel when you have to admit that you messed up and can’t fix it.

Yeah. That.

It’s hard enough to admit that you’ve messed up. No one wants to get a dressing down from anyone. In that cycle of self shame, we imagine all kinds horrible things that someone could tell us about our follies. However, that’s not my warning in this. My warning is about those “teachers” and “elders” that will make you feel TERRIBLE while they “attempt” to “help” you out.

Yeah. Them.

Here’s where the witch earns their wand, though. Many of these teachers and elders have no idea how to help you – and they won’t even say that they can’t. The humiliation alone will be enough to drive seekers away and into the arms of apathy.  In my work with Beaux Magique, the hardest part is convincing people that they can come to me if they mess up. Hell, come to me BEFORE you do the crazy magic so we can keep the mistakes to a minimum.

So yeah, send out that help signal when you need it. However, please think hard about those who you accept help and assistance from.

 

 

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It’s not osmosis

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9. The advice about hanging around successful people only works if you all have similar goals and you actually learn from the others. Hang out with billionaires all you want. Unless you stop buying lottery tickets or shit you don’t need, guess what?

It’s not Osmosis, people. However, it goes deeper than that.

You can buy all the statues you want. You can purchase all the cool clothing from local vendors that you wish. You can even buy all the oils, sprays, and ritual items that your heart desires. You can drop every dollar you have and get the really big tattoos of your gods, and faith. Guess what?

Artwork by Teemu Jahani

IT MEANS NOTHING UNLESS YOU ARE ACTUALLY FOLLOWING THE PATH.

Yeah you can get all those things. Unless you’re doing the homework, you’re gonna fail the whole dang course. Having the fully decked out Instagram-esque aesthetic altar is nice. It’ll get you lots of likes and lots of attention. Don’t actually *work* that altar? Ha ha ha. Cuz that’s what the gods and spirits are gonna do when you actually try to petition them for something.

However, it goes deeper than that.

You can buy all the books you want. You can listen to all the podcasts you want. You can watch all the videos you want. You can buy all the magazines you want. Unless you are taking notes and using the information? IT MEANS NOTHING. Sure you can parrot to your Wannbe Wednesday witches that you heard of or saw that using rosemary in any spellwork is totally acceptable (It’s not by the way.). That might make you look “cool” or whatever you think is cool. Ya’ll know what I’m gonna say, right? IT MEANS NOTHING. If you’re doing the homework, journaling your spellwork and following the instructions? You will have a long record of RESULTS to show what herbs are truly effective for you.

And that’s what I’ve been getting at. All the successful people you idolize? They are RESULTS driven. You want to see change happen in your life? You want to have all the things? This ain’t osmosis. You learn and put those lessons in to effect.

WERK.

 

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You Fix You

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8. Your job is to fix you. If others learn from your example, great. If not? Move along.

 

I learned a thing from one of my mentors this summer. (If she knew that this was about her, she’d be VERY upset with me. HI PAM!) Here’s the thing:  A priestess or priest runs rituals, ceremonies and creates spiritual experiences for themselves. If anyone else, wants to come along, do the work and do the homework, that’s great. If not? Oh well.

Ya’ll……

YA’LL!!!!!

That very thought added a foundation to my ideas of what a priestess is, stuck a pin where I have my convictions and made the globe of “who am I?” stop spinning.

I stopped waiting for my community to formally recognize me as a priestess. I stopped fantasizing over a regal neck torc and elaborate ceremony to get it.  I realize now that I fully believed that the ceremony and the ‘thing’ of getting a torc were the end all and be all of a priestess.  Honestly, they just part of the window dressing. Those things are not what makes me a priestess.

NO Lia Fáil NEEDED.

Forget the super expensive brass or gold neck torc. I went out, got a functioning wrist one – made with copper and bullets – and got back to work.

Once my head stopped spinning, I took a look at my ritual archive. No, not of the ones I’ve done publically – the “other” one.  I have a scary impressive bank of ideas, rituals, thought processes and ceremonies that I’ve never felt I had the support to pull off.

I’ve got a full year long devotion made for my patron god.  (Don’t worry, I’m recovering the website.)

 

I’ve got a proposal for creating a new way to learn to be a bard by using what we have available.

I can travel with my own painted labyrinth when introspection is needed:

I can make a mean magic potion

I know what I am. I know who I am. I know what I want to do in my spiritual life. And, if ya’ll want to come along for the ride? Do the homework and get a helmet. Cuz I got this idea for a road opening ritual that will be pretty epic… along with a few more crazy ideas.

Who am I? You can call me Rev Terrie Mountain Fire

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Success is a choice.

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7. it’s not your job to fix anyone. Give them all the tools and encouragement –and walk away. If they won’t make the effort or fight for themselves, what’s the point?

We currently live in a strange spiritual ecosystem. Many new folks are running away from established and structured spiritual paths or religions only to find haphazard and stranger paths as a ‘pagan.’ One must be wary on the path as the idea of ‘new age’ spirituality (if not the name) creeps in and douses every action in ‘love and light.’

Those of you who have been on this path know that ‘love and light’ are only half of the equation.

As we find our way in this ‘new age’ flavoured pagan world, we see many who are broken and hurt in all kinds of ways from their own experiences. Those with more femme energy often get sucked into a trap of ‘tend and befriend.’  These femme energy people are caught in a dangerous loop. They proclaim that they want to love and help everyone and foolishly try to do so. They are frustrated when the people they help just don’t seem to ‘get’ that they have the tools they need to heal and move forward.

However, some just can’t walk away from the losing situation.

Let me be clear, there is a significant amount of people who have mental or physical issue. They are usually completely incapable of healing their trauma or body. They are not my focus.

I’m speaking to those who know darn well that doing this wrong and will not help themselves. These are the people that always ask for free readings to get clarity on their latest life drama. These are the people who, despite everything they are told, will go from reader to reader (and sometimes drop a lot of money) to get the answer they want. These are the people who will always ask for energy to help them through the day or daily issues that they create themselves.

Cue the losing situation.

A few of my colleagues will enjoy me saying this: Most people are not cursed or hexed. They just refuse to learn from their mistakes and continue to make bad decisions. THE END.

So for all the “love and light” people, there is no light that will illuminate all the darkness in people. When you take the magic user, witch, or magician approach, everyone has all the tools and energy they need to overcome everything. Success becomes a choice.

I’ll say it again: SUCCESS IS A CHOICE.

If you choose to help someone, anyone, and they don’t choose to take your advice or example? Who is the bigger fool? The one who keeps trying even though they know it won’t work? I’ll just stop you right there since we know that’s the answer.

Now some of us are hard wired to have a good heart. That makes this world a difficult place. If you’re looking for hard and fast rules, try baseball: three strikes, then you are out of there. Try your best three times and then move along.  “Pitching” to people who refuse to come up to “bat” is a waste of time and energy.

To level the playing field, I was one of those people who just didn’t “get” it for a long time. My “tend and befriend” folks quickly turned in to “fight and flight” folks. Inevitably, there would be an argument and a break up.  Don’t worry. I got my head out of my ass one day. Things are better now. However, the lesson stuck.

I can’t fix everyone. I can only fix myself. I’ll give everyone a shot and all the tools they need. After that? The choice is theirs.

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Make Mistakes

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Make Mistakes

Yes, this post is late on purpose. SMILE AND NOD.

6. You will make mistakes. Once you’re done beating yourself up, go back to the first entry.

So. Why would I send you ALLL the way back to unlearning the “Don’t hate the playa, hate the game” post? It’s simple…..and it’s not.

Here’s the thing. We live in a ridiculous world that’s made even more terrifying with the addition of social media.  Whether we want to admit it or not, we’re in a horrible loop of looking for approval and validation. We’re drawn to other people’s drama. We’re quick to judge the train wrecks happening in the lives of others with thumbs up or some other emoji. It’s a human thing.

When we post to social media and our own little “court” of followers, we are looking for approval and validation for ourselves. We are constantly trying to: course correct our social lives by asking the “hive mind” questions we can google on our own; get validation for our feelings and mindsets if there are few people locally who “grok” us; and sometimes we need that touch of assurance that we did the right thing when drama goes down in our own lives.

Did you catch it?

Here let me single it out for you:

.…”and sometimes we need that touch of assurance that we did the right thing when drama goes down in our own lives.”

Yeah, we’re constantly looking to be “right” in our lives, to always do things the “right” way, and to always get a pat on the head and a cookie when we “win.”

HOWEVER!

Humans don’t work that way. We make mistakes. We mess up. We don’t do things right all the time. And in the Kangaroo Court of Social media? One “misstep” can spiral our already low self esteem filled minds right to the depths of whatever hell we’ve made for ourselves.

It’s even worse when you’re living a Witch Life.

Most of us are studying alone. We don’t know exactly when the Gods and Spirits are talking to us. We don’t know all the pitfalls that are around us… AND, the last “elder” or mentor we had was stark raving mad… Ahem.

For the solitary practitioner, we’re obsessed with doing things “right” so we don’t accidentally curse ourselves or burn down our houses (remember the first two rules of Fire/Candle Magick).

Guess what? We’re not going to be 100% right all the time. That’s why you use your “book of shadows” / grimoire / journal to track your work. From there you can learn what works and what doesn’t – and what fails spectacularly. Remind me to tell you about the time I: 1. Almost burned down my house; and 2. Nearly cursed myself into oblivion.

Good times.

Now, that you’ve gotten through all that? Here come the warnings:

  1. RESIST THE URGE TO SHARE YOUR FAILURE. Are you’re talking to a trusted colleague who won’t talk down to you? With they help you fix it? If the answer is “no” just stop. You’re just setting yourself up for ridicule. AND! Yes, people who you think are your friends will definitely say some crap like “well you should have known, blah blah blah,” and you will get your feelings hurt. Also?
  2. RESIST THE URGE TO COMMENT NEGATIVELY ON THE FAILURES OF OTHERS. Lookit, we know that we messed up. If we’re talking about it? We are looking for that virtual hug while we clean up the mess. No need for “I told you so” or “I hope you’ve learned your lesson.” We get enough crap from our haters. We don’t need it from our friends. Why? Because:
  3. TRACK YOUR RESULTS: Good, bad or ugly, you need to know what happened so you can see where things went sideways or wrong. That journal of yours will be your lifesaver, cherry flavor, after time.
  4. Lastly, DON’T GIVE UP! The reason why we humans go through this horrible cycle of shame is so that we can evolve. When the first humans ate berries, no one knew which ones were poisonous… soooo you can see how that worked out. As a species, we look to the failures of others to make sure we don’t make the same mistake. And yet, taking those chances made us better human beings.

 

So take chances, get messy, and make mistakes. Learn from them. Forgive yourself, and get busy making more magic.

Looking for more of me? Please consider supporting me on Patreon, supporting me on RedBubble or a Paypal tip https://paypal.me/BMQRVT/5