- It is not enough just knowing when to ask for help. You have to know WHO to ask.
As a pagan and witch, I live in a world of Venn diagrams. While some may share parts of my ideals, their entire world view may not be the same. That’s not a complaint. That’s just a fact. Furthermore, even if someone else shares most of my views, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they can help me in a time a crisis, magical or mundane. Again, not a complaint, just a fact. A few more just for giggles, we have to factor in how far way that “help” is in terms of: do they have their own life; have they just finished working way too man shifts and are burned out; are they in their own crisis mode; are they literally hours away in the form of distance and time zones; will my problems be a burden to them; did my spirits tell me to ask someone else; and a whole other host of parameters.
What all of this boils down to is that when the big mojo is going down, I may not ask YOU in particular for help. That’s not a slam on you. It’s just how I have to roll. Now this can go bad a number of ways.
When I began this path, there was this unspoken rule of “self sufficiency.” You broke it? You fix it. We all know that doesn’t work out. Why? In this world of “Insta-Witchery” and “Credit Card Conjure,” it’s real easy to follow instructions from any webpage or conjure kit and find that you’ve cursed yourself. It’s not so easy to figure out how to undo those things. Now, as time passed and I learned better, that self sufficiency bullshit can still bite me in the ass. Why? Let’s talk about the shame you can feel when you have to admit that you messed up and can’t fix it.
It’s hard enough to admit that you’ve messed up. No one wants to get a dressing down from anyone. In that cycle of self shame, we imagine all kinds horrible things that someone could tell us about our follies. However, that’s not my warning in this. My warning is about those “teachers” and “elders” that will make you feel TERRIBLE while they “attempt” to “help” you out.
Here’s where the witch earns their wand, though. Many of these teachers and elders have no idea how to help you – and they won’t even say that they can’t. The humiliation alone will be enough to drive seekers away and into the arms of apathy. In my work with Beaux Magique, the hardest part is convincing people that they can come to me if they mess up. Hell, come to me BEFORE you do the crazy magic so we can keep the mistakes to a minimum.
So yeah, send out that help signal when you need it. However, please think hard about those who you accept help and assistance from.