Part of my workday is consulting with clients over webcam – not a very good webcam. My name and visage pops up on the client’s screen when they connect to me. There I am – chest and head – all Max Headroom like. It’s really kinda cool.

Except for one thing. One small thing. One really anyone small thing.  For the past five years, despite low cut tops, big hoop earrings and constant insistence, I have been “mistaken” for a man.

I know. I know. Pick your jaw up.

I’ve been referred to as a “guy,”  “dude,” “man,” and the worst of all “sir.”

Stop twitching. I did say the webcam wasn’t that good.

It doesn’t help that I have a deeper voice and am soft spoken. So for five years, I’ve sucked it up. Did my best to not let it bother me. Ignored it. Sent polite “Seriously, I’m a girl” emails to our support services.  For nothing.   Finally, one day I cracked. I sent an email off to my management team. This is how it went:

“Rant:

Can I get  “Ms.” Put in front of my name?  I’m getting real tired of being called “sir.”

End Rant.”

It was a moment of weakness, I admit. However, in an effort to ease  my frustration (and much to their amusment), my management team agreed.  With a few keystrokes to the video call software code, it was done.

A funny thing happened afterward.

Well, yes  I was no longer mistaken for a man.  But that wasn’t it. The attitudes of customers changed toward me as well as our support techs.   They were… nicer.

Now, being from New Orleans, I grew up with a level of Southern manners drilled into me. The words “please”  and “thank you” were not prompted past the age of 6. If anyone was introduced to you with a first name only,  “Ms” Or “Mr” was automatically put in front until you were given leave.   With a history of military men and women as well as and persons in customer service or teaching roles in my family tree?  That’ s just the way it was. It’s in my DNA. I really can’t help myself.

With “Ms. Terrie” on my screen? I see the social playing field leveled. I see a measure of respect that has never been present in this work (and had a few people swearing at me – that was fun. Not.) I hear “Ms. Terrie” and a level of sweetness in the voices of my customers – mostly in hopes of getting deal.  I have no problem with that.

I dare to say that I’m actually treated as a real human.

Huh.