Moving on ~ Show me the Magick

Yes. I haven’t updated since May. Why? Life changes. People change. Spiritual practices change – whether we are paying attention or not.

I discovered a thing. My personal patron gods? They don’t give a crap about devotion, altars or offerings.   What do they want? For me to do some goddamn magic

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And that’s pretty much how it happened. Once I stopped trying to be a witch/magician/whatever – and just did the damn thing? Well, life got interesting and I stopped posting. It’s kinda hard to write a slice of life piece when you have three major spiritual experiences in one day.

By the way, if the Goddess Bridget even talks to you, even if it’s snark? You are truly blessed.

I have to hand it to Taylor Ellwood, his book Pop Culture Magick and his Facebook group with the same name. Why? Because I struggled for years with self doubt. I thought I wasn’t a real “witch” unless I understood how things were done “back in the day.”

Not anymore.

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Yeah, that’s what it was like that first few weeks. Now I don’t pat myself on the back. I don’t look to get my photo taken. I don’t make the “Look at my magic work!” posts (Unless it’s for business). I’m too busy showing the gods that I am not wasting my talents.

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What about you? What magic are you making? What are you showing the gods? Me? I got work to do.

Celebrating Imbolc & Goddess Brigid ~ Pray ~ Love ~ Train ~ Create

Celebrating Imbolc & Goddess Brigid

– this time? It’s personal

I’m sure you know of the Goddess known as Brigid.  She’s one of the most popular deities in the pagan spiritual movement.  Sometimes she’s seen as three sisters, other times as a triple deity. Some of Her domains are poetry, healing, and smithing (creation of tangible things).  While I have all of these things in my personal and spiritual life, that’s not why I honour Her.

Her followers are famous for flametending rituals or cills. They are famous for tending and caring for local public waterways.  They are famous for learning and speaking Gaelic. They are famous for weaving rushes for crosses to protect their homes. I don’t do any of those things. Goddess knows I’ve tried.

I honor Her for different reasons than most. The Goddess Brigid and I got personal. We got close.  We got “real” in a way I could finally understand.

She came to me in a dream, disguised as a waitress. She took away my food. She took away my seat at the table. She took away my husband’s food. She slacked at her own job in attending other patrons at restaurant.  A “snake oil” salesman came into the establishment and pestered the customers. She didn’t throw him out.

She made me so damn mad that I lost my temper.

For reference, I do my best not to lose my grip on my anger at any given point in time.  When angered, I’m not coherent – or nice. I scream. I yell. All the fires inside me roar – and burn everything in sight.  I am a dormant volcano. When I finally blow my top? I take an entire coastline of friendship and several hundred square miles of social niceties with me.

So there I am, no place at the table, starving and seeing that those around me are also not getting the nourishment they need. I knew that I was treated unjustly. I knew that the charlatan had fake magic potions. I knew that Table 9 needed more napkins and Table 19 needed more hot sauce.  So I lost my spiritual sh_t.

I let the fires inside me roar. I fed it the injustice given to me and the patrons of the restaurant. I fed it the anger that someone would willingly not care for those in their charge. I fed it a good dose of magical “b_tchslap” that I wanted to dole out to so many who take advantage of others in weaker states and positions.  Yes I got angry; then I got busy.

Instead of letting the rage boil me from the inside out, I stepped up and moved the “waitress” out of the way. As I yelled at Her (yes I know, just go with me on this), I did the job. I tossed out the snake oil salesman. I got Table 19 their hot sauce, fed my husband, got Table 9 more napkins and more. I took over and moved Her out of the way.

In my dream state, since She clearly wasn’t doing the job, someone had to step in to the role and take care of the people.  I did the job. I took care of the people and myself, all while yelling at Her from the top of my lungs.

Sigh. Yes this is where lucidity crept in to my dreaming mind.

The “waitress” just took it. She just stood there while I ripped Her apart. I stopped and realized that I couldn’t see her face. She was a glowing being of light that I could not focus on literally. That’s when I realized who She was – and panicked.

A little boy popped up at Her side. I’m sure that it was my patron god Lugh – goofy smile, mousy brown hair bleached blonde by the sun. He smiled and merely said “Sorry about that.”

This is where I woke up and had a spiritual meltdown.  This is also the reason why I honour Her. This is where Brigid and I got personal.

Brigid – the triple goddess, the lady of the hearth, the forge and the well deity of early spring, goddess of the sun, keeper of the flames – does not want me to be flametender. She doesn’t want me to tend the local waterways. She doesn’t want me to learn Gaelic or weave rushes. She doesn’t want me to solely write poetry or become and black, copper or silversmith.

She wants me to care for the people. She wants me to use my skills to make magic – to protect the people. She wants me to release the fires inside me, not just in anger, but in confidence that I can and I will do what needs be done.

In some ways I am Darlugdach, Her pupil. This was my dream of coal filled shoes.  Instead of intense desire for someone that would sway my faith, I had the intense desire not to be in the spotlight. I didn’t want to be the heavy in any situation where I had to make hard choices. I wanted all the magic, but was too afraid to do the work – in case I made a mistake.

This dream changed all of that.

I honour Brigid because it’s personal. She has shown me all of Her within myself.  To not take up Her mantle goes against everything I am.  Her flame burns within me. The lesson of the dream was to let it burn, bright and hot, to let the heat of the Fire work to help others.

Why do you honor Her?

Imbolc 2016

 

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The First Full Moon ~ Pray

Seven days ago, something wonderful happened. After five long years of study and several months of angst ridden testing, I became a Corellian Priestess, First Degree.

Terrie ~ Corellian Tradition - Mother Temple - Dancers of Shakti Temple - First Degree

 

 

 

 

 

 

Excitement and relief rolled through me. I got to announce to my fellow pagan peers that I finally reached one of many goals. I quipped “Now the real work starts.” And has it ever.

Two days ago, I did a single card Tarot reading for myself. Let it be known that I don’t have the best of experiences do this. However, that day was interesting. The card I drew? The Star.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My first thought was: “Seriously?”  My reasoning was simple. See that Star?  I have that tattooed on my right shoulder to represent my highest goals and dreams. I got that tattoo in 2000 as I graduated from college and had no idea what a pagan was.  Now, a lifetime later, there she was, the Star card shining back at me as a promise of a better future where the Universes is on *my* side for a change.

Oh it gets better.

Now we here. My first full moon as a bona fide priestess. I’m racked with migraines. I can’t keep my food down. I’ve lost one of my favourite bracelets and not even the Fey have decided to retrieve it for me.  Just when I thought that maybe – just maybe – I’m not cut out for this work, a few more signs came my way. Make that three signs:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That’s right. I saw with these four eyes, every one of my animal totems – in the same day. Hawk flew along side me as I drove to work. Raven and all his buddies played outside my window at work. Coyote gave a whisper of a reminder that he was still around as he crossed the road in front of my car on the drive home – to disappear in the brush and snow in seconds.

Yeah, I think I’m gonna be ok.  So begins a new journey with a new look and focus.
☮ T